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With the recent buzz being created by EL James' book "Fifty Shades of Grey," I felt compelled to discuss the elements of the relationship described in the book as well as dispel myths that have recently come up in the media regarding BDSM type relationships.
The definition of BDSM describes a relationship in which people take on a role of Dominant or a Submissive and may involve some type of restriction (Bondage) and the setting of rules by the Dom which if not followed properly by the Submissive he/she will be punished through some sort of discipline.
I dearly hope there are no offspring for your life style to damage.
It makes me truly sorry to read comments such as yours, to think that there are people like you who are stuck in closeminded ingnorance.
With her saying "THIS IS WHO I AM" My job as he master is lead her into true freedom and empower her to be proud hat she a slave/sub.
If the standard of "this is who I am" is to be absolute.. that is just "who they are" That you are endeavoring to form a dependent personality is not only something to not be proud of but to be abhorred.
BDSM, Dominance, Submission and Sadomasochistic relationships exist and are very real to a large community of people.
There is in fact a multi-billion dollar industry of romance novels that are filled with bad boy heroes and desired heroines that succumb to the alpha-type hero. She must wear her collar and leash at all times when home regardless of who comes over.
However, couples involved in this type of relationship only come in for therapy when there are issues outside their sexual relationship that need help, or because one of them is not adhering to the detailed contract which was set up at the beginning of their relationship.
Like the heroine Anastasia in Fifty Shades of Grey, she is asked to read over a list of activities to see which are hard limits (meaning activities she would never want to do under any circumstances) and soft limits (meaning activities that she might consider trying) and sign a contract.
People in this type of relationship describe it at times as an orientation the way other people might say they're gay or Lesbian in that they need certain threats or actions of pain or restrictions to make them feel turned on erotically.
Many people do not want or give pain but rather another type of sensation that can cause the partners to get a type of "high" that other people might get finishing an Iron Man.