Same sex friendships while dating

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Social psychologists around the world have actually spent a lot of time researching what’s referred to as “cross-sex” friendships, and what they’ve found is that old Harry may have been on to something when he quipped that “men and women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.” In one study, researchers at the University of Wisconsin brought 88 pairs of cross-sex friends into a lab.The pairs were required to promise in front of each other that they would refrain from discussing the study after they left the lab.Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa.Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief.Instead, stack the deck as much as possible towards having a happy, long-lasting marriage.

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In order to ensure honest responses, the researchers not only followed standard protocols regarding anonymity and confidentiality, but also required both friends to agree—verbally, and in front of each other—to refrain from discussing the study, even after they had left the testing facility.Sadly, Kate and I know a few people — both men and women — who ended up cheating on their spouse with a close opposite-sex friend when the above scenario played out.They were ardent proponents of the idea that men and women can just be friends, even while married…right up until those friendships contributed to the break up of their union.Few other questions have provoked debates as intense, family dinners as awkward, literature as lurid, or movies as memorable. Daily experience suggests that non-romantic friendships between males and females are not only possible, but common—men and women live, work, and play side-by-side, and generally seem to be able to avoid spontaneously sleeping together.However, the possibility remains that this apparently platonic coexistence is merely a façade, an elaborate dance covering up countless sexual impulses bubbling just beneath the surface.

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