Dating widower young
The guilt wasn’t because I wasn’t ready, it was because by not dating, I hadn’t yet dealt with how it would make me feel.Whether I’d waited 2 years or 20, eventually I’d have felt guilty and have needed to process it.For nearly 20 years, I only loved one woman: my wife, the mother of my children. The leader of a grief support group I attended talked about the “stages” of grief, but also suggested that it wasn’t as if you processed those stages linearly.I was — and still am — grieving the loss of a woman who’d been the Robin to my Batman (her words, not mine) for nearly two decades. One day maybe you raged, then the next you accepted your loss.I also believed I owed it to my potential dates to be as honest with myself as possible.
My grief seemed like waves radiating out from a droplet of water in a larger pool. It’s easy to pay lip service to the sentiment, “I don’t care what people think.” It was harder to ignore that some of the people who might be confused, concerned, or hurt by my decision to date would be close family who’d also lost Leslie.Being ready to date and being ready to bring your date back to your house are two very different things.While I was ready to put myself back out there, my house remained a shrine to Leslie.I was interested in sharing my life, my love, and my family.The droplets of grief were falling less frequently.