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’ and thepsychological effects are very damaging because ghosting is done with certain malice,” she says.
“In most cases you can’t confront [the person doing the ghosting].
So Tlou texted him again, to see if he were caught up at the office. I then sent him a text asking if he was okay, and still there was no response.
“At that point I was getting annoyed but I wasn’t alarmed,” Tlou continues. Needless to say I texted.” But Tlou realised that she had been ghosted. At that stage it had become obvious that he was ignoring my efforts to reach out to him.”Muvhango’s Senzo Radebe, a self-confessed serial ghoster, believes that ghosting hasbecome the norm for people who dread the admin of breaking up. “You don’t want to tell the other girl you’ve found someone else.
So there was a bit of busyness, because we attended other people’s parties and braais.
The next Monday, Tlou texted her boyfriend to ask him to hang out, mentioning that while they had spent time together, it hadn’t been alone time.
“On Valentine’s Day this year I had threatened to go out with this nameless girl. “I didn’t know the whole story: I didn’t care,” he says.
On the day, I had called her a few times to finalise details of our date. “I just jumped into conclusions and I decided to ghost her.
So the best way to go about it is to ghost that person until they also get tired of you.”Radebe was seven years into a relationship when he started to ghost his then-girlfriend.Till this day, she’s still wondering what happened.” Radebe is aware of the psychological effects of ghosting, and, in retrospect, regrets ghostinghis girlfriend of seven years. But we are not dating anymore.”Although Tlou never heard back from her man, she hasn’t let the incident hold her back.He now cautions against the practice of random ghosting.“I’m lucky because my ex girlfriend took it gracefully,” he says. She admits, however, that she’ll be more cautious with future relationships.“Until today he has not responded to anything,” she says.But ghosting has likely been around for centuries: before the internet, there just wasn’t a catchy term for it.Couples in the township have been known to resort to kushayisana ngomoya (also known as Kushayisana nge current) when the relationship is fraught with difficulties.